How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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