Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize