She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
