I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize