Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize