dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
