i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
