Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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