Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Im part way to drunk.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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