Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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