you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We are all done wearing pants today
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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