I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
