i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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