I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
