Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
