3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
