where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
