thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
