Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
