After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
