I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
