He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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