I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
