I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize