I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
