I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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