dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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