listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
