I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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