Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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