Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize