I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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