Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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