Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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