i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
