she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
