If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
