There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
