Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
