well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
