if i died would you start the facebook group?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
