SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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