i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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