did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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