Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize