drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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