good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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