is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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