I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
