Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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