and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
