there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize