I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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