I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
