just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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