dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize