I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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