it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
