Do you still have your period?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
