We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
