if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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