Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
