I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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