Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
