I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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