:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
