hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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