I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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