maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
