tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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